The Bittersweet Ballad of Uncle Jim, Part Two: Uncle Jim’s European Vacation

If you’re just tuning in, then you’re going to want to check out Part One of the tale of Uncle Jim. When we left the can collecting, drink-addled madman, he was about to tell me about his European adventures. Specifically, Bulgarian nude beaches. I just wanted to note that Jim has a tendency to ramble … Continue reading

The Bittersweet Ballad of Uncle Jim, Part One: “Kooky, But Not Too Kooky”

A few weeks ago when I originally posted about Afro Baby I promised there would be something about “Uncle Jim” in the near future. And honestly, I’ve purposely been putting it off. There really wasn’t much of a story outside of his expletive-ridden rants and drunken antics. He curses in such a way that even … Continue reading

That Time I Delivered Candy to Gene Wilder

Who can take a sunrise Sprinkle it in dew Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two? I can, motherfuckers. That’s right. I delivered candy to Gene Wilder, Willy Wonka himself. You know in movies when a seemingly unimportant character comes out of nowhere and rescues the hero? Well yeah, that’s basically me. The … Continue reading

The Cream Dream

As I sit here typing, a friend of mine is next to me eating the leftovers of his attempt at a homemade blooming onion. For those of you who don’t know, a blooming onion takes some of the best things in the world (onions, batter, spicy sauces, and deep-fryers) and combines them into a mouth-watering, … Continue reading

The Infamous Afro Baby of Hughes Ave

Out here on the rough and tumble streets of the Bronx, there are plenty of shady characters to keep you vigilant. If you’re up early enough, you can find the incredibly vulgar, and equally entertaining, man known only as “Uncle Jim” (more on him in a future post) sitting on the stoop of 2488. And … Continue reading